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When we’re out we always think “I want to go home!” But this is not the same for domestic violence victims, we know that domestic violence between spouses increased during the lockdown. Yes, I did not mention women, men are also victims of domestic violence but The percentage against women is 80%. Here we are going to look at the psychology behind domestic violence, and how to overcome trauma. let’s get started.
What is domestic violence?
First of all, we want to know what is considered domestic violence. Domestic violence is using physical force to harm you. Let’s look at it in types:
- Physically beating, burning, kneeling, pulling hair and doing
- Emotionally harmed, emotional abuse It’s outrageous
- Blackmailing using relatives, copy or one of the children.
- Weapon knife, stick, rod,
- Force you against your will, bind you or lock you in a room
- Sexual harassment, rape, harassment, forcing you to have sex.
If you are forced by your spouse, it is domestic violence .so I did not mention the gender or the name of the relationship. It will be done by anyone who is close to you. Males were given .28% forcible, assault, stalking, and abusing. The men had experienced domestic violence, but none reported, because no one would believe their words out of fear of laughter, shame. Let’s see what’s going on inside the mind of addicts to do this.
Mind of an abuser
Domestic violence mostly comes from controlling spouses, To gain power over the partners, they use force to make them obedient. Abusers believe they need control over their spouse. To have them on their side. They grew up abusing such an environment, imitating what they saw. Some cultural norms (especially when it comes to sex). After marriage, men feel that they are their spouse and own their body. So they need to follow them, when they feel they are violated they become more violent.
How to identify you in an abusive relationship?
Addicts may look very polite, kind, hold a dignified position, are attractive. But these are for outsiders when they are at home they become nightmares.
- They separate you from your family, friends, neighbors
- Get excited easily
- Always be suspicious of your activities
- Prone to heartburn
- Insist, blame you, say you’re the one who started
- After they have calmed down or they think they have gone too far, they told you to tempt them with their attraction, it happened with anger, swearing it won’t happen again (but it will)
- Apologize with the gift without taking responsibility and manipulate it to convince you that you are guilty.
Why won’t they report to their spouse?
We can say “Why are you still living with your partner?”, “What century are you?”, And lots of questions. We didn’t think from their point of view, they have some hope, the men / women who abuse them once they fall in love, The desire to live forever. Since they are manipulated and isolated from their families, they do not share or make decisions. You can refer to this link to know a woman, who has been abusing her children for years, is not willing to leave her husband. They feel they deserve it, they are guilty. They are afraid of society, how they are going to survive, financial condition and mental stress. They (victims) need professional guidance
Impact on children
Every child is close to their mother, when they see that their mother has been abused, it becomes a serious shock in their life. They will become depressed because they cannot protect their loved one, suffer from insomnia, wet the stakes, worry about how they and their mother will survive each day, suicide – the life they are living Are hated by him and eventually, he develops post-pneumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The final problem will be that they will develop a personality that their spouse needs to behave and abuse them in such a way
(Note: The most common and dangerous domestic violation is the dangerous thing when you need to experience it. Strangulation When your spouse strangles you. There is a high probability that he may murder you. Better left alone)
Impact on you;
If you see someone Those who are often getting “accidents” and injuries, they are abused. They won’t open easily, but that doesn’t mean we need to shut our eyes. You can refer some professional guidance to them. Injuries can be of short duration or long duration or long life. Minor injuries such as bruising, bruising, breaking of bones. Long-term injuries are blood pressure, heart disease, arthritis. And finally life-long injuries depression, stress, low self-esteem, isolation from all, panic attacks, PTSD (traumatic stress disorder)
Assault or indecency after the incident
I read it in some blogs (Source: Great mind) I like how he explained the steps he took, saying they were working as good works. If your spouse assures you easily, he knows that you have weak spots if they show that you will be convinced. If you are convinced for 1 time, then there is a 1000 percent chance out of 100 that this event will happen again.(I am not exaggerating), it has been proved that your spouse feels that they have control over your misbehavior, they will become addicted.
Abusive cycle Very well explained mind
- First of all, this is the phase of building tension, they will be excited on one thing
- Then they start verbal abuse for everything you do (exaggerated mode)
- Physically abuse you
- Then he blamed you and said “You are the one who scolded me earlier on 1”
- Now the discovery phase, they swear on everything that it will not happen again, apologize to you
- See the honeymoon phase (this is the word I liked in this blog), they will be very good for you (we have no problem) before another cycle begins.
How to avoid an abusive relationship?
Avoiding abusive relationships is not easy, but for you and your children you need to leave: you need to:
- One is different Cell phone that is not connected to home phone so that your husband does not track the address.
- Remember the cell phone number of all your trusted friends, family members, secret code says you are in danger
- Pack all your important documents, money and important things in advance, keep an extra car key
- Contact your local family lawR, even if you do not have enough money, your family lawyer can help you.
- Buy some hearing aids for your children so that they do not know anything, keep your children away from all this.
Overcoming shock is not an easy thing, It will be difficult to forget and start something new but it is not impossible. Self-care and happiness are important, living in a supportive environment that supports you, seeking medical advice, accepting your abusive relationship, moving forward, sharing your pain will help you live a new happy life.
1 in 3 women experienced domestic violence, more complaints are reported than in the past decade, 80% of the men abused women in the last decade result, it is increasing because women are tolerating, Do not hesitate your body, no one is your right. You have to do anything if you encounter anything in your or your relative’s life contact. https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/your-guide-to-support/guide-to-camhs/
App for domestic violence help https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=appliedlife.pvtltd.SHEROES&_branch_match_id=791354067364472640